Traditionally, eating disorders are viewed through the lens of pathology.

Something's not right up there, so we must "fix" the individual with our "evidence-based" approaches!

...only to leave neurodivergent people traumatized by the fact that the "treatment" doesn't address what's actually underneath the behaviors.

Many neurodivergent people develop eating disorders and other mental health issues because our souls are too expansive for this shallow world. Here's how someone from my community put it:

"Nowadays there is this expectation of earning money, living fast and there isn't much depth anymore. This society overwhelms me with its speed, its shallowness, its expectations."

Why Traditional ED Treatment Fails Autistic People

I really dislike the term eating "disorder." Instead, I prefer the term eating adaptation. Why? Because food and body struggles are nothing more than adaptive responses to an overwhelming world.

For neurodivergent people, the eating "disorder" develops as an adaptive response to the overwhelming demands of society. It's the protective shield, the escape from expectations. Not only that, but the ED becomes our special interest, our routine, our entire sense of self.

This is what makes quasi recovery so painful – you WANT to recover and be free, but you're faced with the same existential questions that drove you into the escape hatch of an ED in the first place!

The Quasi Recovery Trap

In this state of quasi recovery, you're "recovered" to a certain extent, but not fully living. You're still at the mercy of constant fear, self-doubt, and endless questions, including:

• What will replace my eating disorder?
• Who will I be without the ED or "in recovery" identity?
• What if I can't handle being healthy?

The eating disorder – and later on, the recovery identity – isn't about looking a certain way. It isn't about the food or the exercise. Rather, the eating disorder is the "golden answer" to the fear of being "wrong" in this world.

Existential Suffering AFTER an Eating Disorder

Recovery from an eating disorder doesn't make the existential suffering go away. If anything, it amplifies it because you're faced with the deeper questions that keep autistic minds awake at 3am:

• What's the point of it all?
• How do I handle feeling trapped in this human body?
• Why does everything feel so overwhelming and meaningless?

These are existential questions, not eating disorder questions.

This is why I created the Existential Autistic Membership! Every Tuesday at 1pm EST, we connect in what one member calls "neurodivergent oases to breathe in" – 60-minute deep dives where curiosity is welcomed, not shut down. Here's what Eva writes:

"I am one of those people who want to dedicate their entire lives to studies, to asking questions and searching for explanations there might be no answer to. But nowadays there is this expectation of earning money, living fast and there isn't much depth anymore. This society overwhelms me with its speed, its shallowness, its expectations…Communities like this one here, where we can think and speak deeply, on divine dimension and with such a vastness as we do, are really rare. I am so happy and grateful to be part of this."

Finding Your Philosophical Family

If you've ever felt existentially lonely in this shallow world, if you've ever been told "you think too much," the Existential Autistic Membership might be exactly what your soul has been searching for.

Learn more about the Existential Autistic Membership →