I’ve been going through an incredible transformation recently. Or, more accurately, multiple micro-transformations since around this time last year.

You may remember a blog I released at the end of 2024, in which I shared how I injured my foot in France and how this injury was a massive wake-up call. (Check it out here)

Well, since that time, I’ve been experiencing several existential shifts. More and more, I feel disconnected from previous versions of myself. And that terrifies me. Because that’s when I’m confronted with my biggest fear: the fear of emptiness.

But here’s precisely where the transformation comes in. Because yes, while I fear emptiness – who will I be if I don’t know who I am? – I’m feeling more and more aligned with my being. Despite the existential hell this past year has been, I feel, on a deep soul-level, that I’m stepping into a new era of myself.

I’m no longer interested in almost everything I’ve been chasing the past few years. For most of 2025, I was trying to force myself to continue, but I’ve discovered that’s why it was hell: because that version of me no longer exists. The burnout was merely a SIGNAL that I wasn’t acting in alignment with my being.

Moving back home a few months ago has given me a sense of safety, which has made space for my soul to ground itself back in my body. I cannot even begin to tell you how relieving, exciting, and joyous I’ve been feeling!! But telling you that is not the purpose of this post.

I wanted to write this to share 5 things I’m leaving behind in 2025. Because (A) I think it might resonate and (B) I hope it will inspire you and (C) I can’t stop thinking about wanting to share these 5 things with you, so here we go!

5 things I’m leaving behind in 2025👇

1. Always being “productive”

This one is at the top of the list for a reason. But my constant drive to be “productive” isn’t because of “hustle culture” or because I feel “pressure from society.” Recently, I’ve started to crave a lot more silence. Going on walks with no podcast, no audiobook, no music. Just me and my thoughts. I used to never be able to do this. I constantly needed stimulation, a distraction; basically, just a way to NOT be in my body.

But after feeling more trapped than EVER in the spring/summer of this year and having no choice but to do a lot of healing work around the fact that I am a soul in a human body costume, I’m starting to feel more grounded, but also, respectful…respectful of this human body costume and what it does for me, rather than frustrated with its boundaries.

For me, 2026 is all about honoring my intuition and respecting the ever-shifting changes of my soul and body. Rather than distraction, I’m focusing even more on intention.

How do I want to feel?

Peaceful. Not rushed.

And speaking from personal experience, I can assure you that constantly trying to be productive will not make you feel peaceful or less rushed!

2. Needing to “solve” my thoughts

Oeiiii this is a big one. And definitely connected to the “productive” one. I think we can all agree that neurodivergent people have a LOT of thoughts. Too many!! But to us, they’re not “just thoughts.” That’s why meditation can be so frustrating and why “let your thoughts pass like clouds” makes me want to whack someone in the head.

(If you want neurodiversity-affirming mediations though, check out this mediation playlist on my YouTube channel!)

Every one of my thoughts is like a puzzle piece that needs to be correctly placed. I have such an intense fear of forgetting things that I obsess over writing everything down, but because it’s physically impossible to write everything down – let alone act on these written down things – I end up too overwhelmed and exhausted to do anything.

In line with respecting my body and the boundaries of this physical plane, I accept the fact that I’m going to have more thoughts than I will ever know what to do with, and maybe that’s not a curse but actually a gift. BECAUSE I cannot solve every thought, I MUST choose the ones most important to me!

3. Being the “autistic ED recovery coach”

Going through with sharing this point is harder than I thought. Because chances are, you found me (and are reading this) precisely because you want guidance on your ED recovery journey as a neurodivergent person or caregiver of a neurodivergent person. But as I’m typing this, I realize that you didn’t actually sign up for autism and ED recovery content. You’re reading this because, like most of us, you want to live a more peaceful, fulfilling, meaningful, happy, less stressful life!!

If you’ve worked with me through 1-1 Coaching, the Autistically ED-Free Academy, the Liv Label Free Membership, and soon 51 Days to Freedom (I’m so excited!), you know we rarely talk about food, exercise, or anything ED-related. Because just like “productivity,” an eating disorder is nothing more than a distraction!! A way to hide!! A way to NOT be in a body!!

A huge part of my existential transformation is realizing that I don’t want to be put in that “autistic ED recovery coach” box anymore. I am LIV LABEL FREE after all!! I want to coach, yes, but I also want to write, read, connect, love, laugh, walk, run, bike, cook, watch Netflix, and do all the other things I want to do. But most importantly, I want to do these things wholeheartedly. I want to do these things without feeling guilty and “wrong” for not creating autism and ED-related content. Because that version of Livia has already left the Universe! So prepare yourself for a much more aligned and wholehearted Livia 🥰

4. Rushing through everything

Okay, I know this one is closely related to point #2, but I feel inclined to list it as a separate point because – per usual – it’s NUANCED. Reflecting on the following anecdote from my childhood helped me understand WHY I have always felt so rushed:

Ever since I was little, I wanted to know when things would end. As soon as we arrived at a restaurant, party, whatever, I would ask my mom “When are we leaving?”

“Huh? Didn’t you want to come here?” my mom would reply, confused.

“Yes, but I need to know when we’re leaving,” I would reply back.

Neither of us knew why I needed to know, but looking back, I finally understand: I craved boundaries. By knowing when we were leaving, I had predicability, which in turn, gave me a sense of safety and trust. By knowing when we were leaving, the abstract concept of “existence” at whatever foreign place we were now had clear walls. A clear start time, a clear end time.

Although I like to tell myself the story that I’m afraid of “running out of time,” I’ve realized that it’s not really mental. I feel a ticking time bomb in my chest, and that’s more of an existential experience than a state of cognitive awareness. To elaborate, I have no certainty around how much time I truly have (because none of us do), so by rushing through everything, I’m almost trying to “be ahead” of time. And wow, just typing that out makes me realize how twisted that is 😂

5. Making sure everything has a “point”

And we’re at the final point (no pun intended)! Again, closely related to all of the above, my whole life has revolved around only doing things “if they have a point.” I believe I mentioned this in my latest podcast episode Has Your Eating Disorder Expired? but as a kid, I would only do things if I could somehow come up with a “reason” for doing them. Even if I genuinely wanted to do something, that desire was not “enough” of a reason.

Say, for example, I wanted to read my favorite book series Rainbow Magic. Well, instead of reading because “Oh, how nice it is to read,” I would take it a step further: “I’m going to read so I can fill the afternoon and can go to another reality so I don’t have to feel that I’m on Earth.” I know it’s nuanced, and I guess, to a certain extent, we all have deep-seated feelings like that, but I realize I was so aware of the why behind my activity that I couldn’t “just do it” unless I knew exactly WHY I was doing it.

So there you have it, 5 things I’m leaving behind in 2025! Now, I’d love to hear from you: what are YOU leaving behind in 2025? What are some of your intentions for the new year? And, as always, I’d love to hear what insights you gained from all of the above 🥰

Much love and a happy 2026,

XO Liv