How my Eating Disorder Recovery led to my Autism Discovery
I just turned 22 and I'm feeling SO much gratitude for every experience that has shaped me into the person I am today. I wanted to share my story with you, reflecting on how recovery from my eating disorder led me to discovering I am Autistic.
Growing up, I never knew what was “wrong” with me. I thought I was just “weird” for preferring comfort over style, staying in vs going out, and playing soccer vs putting on make-up.
Besides the fact that I barely had any friends, this “weirdness” was never an issue…until my need for logic, consistency, and routine manifested as Anorexia at the age of 12.
I spent years in and out of treatment, where they tried to attack the symptoms without ever addressing the real underlying issues that contributed to the disordered relationship with food & exercise in the first place.
At the age of 15, I was kicked out of treatment and was told that “I just had to accept the fact that I was never going to get better”…
My life only went more downhill from there, but it was hitting rock bottom that taught me I was either going to save myself, or no one else was.
At the age of 17, I finally committed to recovery FOR ME. It wasn’t easy, and several years later I still couldn’t understand why I was clinging to these “disordered behaviors” around things that were NOT even food and exercise related!
THAT is when I discovered I am Autistic at age 20. This discovery completely changed my life, and was the puzzle piece I needed to fully heal from my eating disorder. I was finally ALLOWED to be myself in every sense of the word, and no longer needed the mask of a mental illness to hide my full potential.
My mess has become my message, and I want to thank YOU for allowing me to spread this message every day. However lonely & hopeless you may feel, I want to remind you that there will ALWAYS be at least one person who understands & wants to help.
Through all of the struggles and fear, I have finally found my purpose…or should I say, my purpose found me. ED recovery, thank you for leading me to my Autism discovery.