Autism, Eating Disorders, and Loneliness
Being autistic can often feel like being an alien on a foreign planet. You have different interests, experience the world in a unique way, and social situations can be extremely draining. These can all cause someone to feel incredibly isolated.
In many ways, my eating disorder was like a friend to me. It was the one thing I could always rely on when I felt detached from the external world…of course, the paradox is that the eating disorder causes you to become even more detached.
Because I, as an autistic person, will always feel detached from the world to some extent, I believe it’s important to have an “outlet.” For many autistic people, this outlet is a special interest.
During my eating disorder, my goal to be “healthy” and follow the “perfect” diet and exercise routine became a special interest in and of itself. In other words, it acted as the outlet that distracted me from asking life’s deepest questions.
When I finally recovered from my eating disorder, I experienced the deepest sense of loneliness I had ever felt in my life. I hadn’t made many true connections growing up undiagnosed autistic, and also wasn’t able to make them while being entrenched in my illness.
Even today, I often feel lonely. Not necessarily because I live alone (aloneness and loneliness are two separate concepts), but because being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world is alienating. Yet despite those feelings, I’ve found outlets that don’t only support my health, they also contribute to other people like me.
I truly believe that the moment you start aligning your actions with your core values and start living the legacy you want to leave behind, your loving energy outweighs (at least most of the time) the fear of loneliness. If your life was aligned with your core values, what would you be doing differently?
If you want help on your journey to freedom and making peace with your mind & body, schedule a consultation call for 1-1 coaching here!