You know that feeling of putting on a scratchy sweater?

That feeling of all the fibers quietly attacking every one of your skin cells?

Now, imagine that scratchy sweater being your skin.

For many autistic people with restrictive eating disorders, this is what weight gain feels like – that suffocating, constrictive, claustrophobic sensation that makes you literally want to crawl out of your skin.

In this sense, the fear of weight gain is not a pathological problem – it’s a creative (albeit unconscious) adaptation to feeling unsafe in your own body.

It’s worth clarifying that I don't use the word “adaptation” to imply that fear of weight gain isn’t harmful.

As with any extreme, the extent to which the fear of weight gain becomes destructive to one’s health and life (and the lives of those around them) can definitely be considered maladaptive.

However, I do not believe that pathologization is ever the answer.

When you label yourself as “disordered,” “fearful,” “anxious,” or [fill in whatever you identify as here], you are wrapping up your being in an unwanted identity. And how can you ever unleash your full, capable, authentic being when you’ve buried it under a pile of labels?

For me personally, the #1 most helpful aspect of making peace with weight gain was to stop seeing “my body” as mine. I stopped seeing it as “my possession.”

Instead, I view this body as a vessel that I was born into – a vessel that allows me to write these words and connect with you on a deeply authentic level.

There’s a reason AI sounds artificial – because it can never be embodied! (Remember, AI is just a compilation of 0s and 1s.)

To be human means to be embodied, which also means that you can never really be you as long as you resist the flesh and bones that host your soul.

I dive deep into this ecological view of the body in my upcoming book How to Get Out of Quasi Recovery and (surprise!) the accompanying Discovery Workbook. 

Through the books, we’ll embark on your unique discovery journey by exploring existentialism, perfectionism, conformity, never feeling “good enough,” and so much more!

Both books launch Tuesday, June 24, 2025. To receive exclusive updates about the book’s release, join my newsletter here.